An unexpected pause, it is different than a pregnant pause. Or maybe it isn’t in this case.
I recently dislocated my ankle in five places. It was not broken, thankfully (I attribute that to my diligent consumption of calcium) but it was so badly dislocated after resetting it the doctor had to place metal screws and pins to keep it from shifting back. I am now on crutches, cannot put any weight on it, and have to keep it elevated for about six weeks. After that I will have to wear a cast.
The strangest thing to me is how it happened. I was bouldering, which I am not very good at, and don’t often do. However, I was climbing pretty good that day. I was one move away from sending it. It was a move where I was horizontal to the ground and had to reach back for the last move. I didn’t think I could do it, so I decided to jump down and try again in a few minutes. I jumped down, and landed perfectly on my feet, my knees slightly bending to absorb the shock, when suddenly, in my head I felt searing pain and felt my ankle buckle under in a really not-natural kind of way. I then dropped to the floor and then sat up. My friends asked if I was ok and very quietly I said no, that I wasn’t ok and I was pretty sure I needed to go to the hospital.
My boyfriend sat behind me while preparations were being made to transport me there. For a minute, the pain was so bad I didn’t know how I would cope, I thought I might pass out. But I didn’t. I didn’ t scream, I didn’t cry, I didn’t get bossy or mean. In crisis I tend to get really focused and calm.
As soon as we got to the hospital the attendant that helped wheel me in told the nurses at the receiving desk we needed a room right away; that there wasn’t time to admit me. The bone had not poked through my skin, but it was wanting to something fierce. The skin above it was white and transparent.
After taking some x-rays the team of doctors decided to put me under anesthesia and do the procedure right away even though I hadn’t been fasting.
So fast forward to me, here, on my living room couch, living as an invalid for the next few weeks.
But the whole thing is so weird to me because it was such a random thing. I honestly, 100%, think my descent was spot on. So was my landing, yet my ankle says Fail. Another weird thing that happened the same day, was a person I had been dying to do a guest post for emailed that day and asked me if I was interested. Yes please! I can’t help but think this is the calm before some storm. Like the universe is forcing me to relax because change is in the wind and it’s gonna get crazy. I feel like everything I have been working toward is culminating.